Today in the car my eighteen year old daughter informed me quite matter-of-factly that she’s going to have plastic surgery when she’s older. Botox as well. For her looking good is the most important thing. And I’m like yeeew! Yuuuuuk! Because (a) I think people who have plastic surgery on their faces look weird. Like shop window mannequins. Kind of not human. And (b) wrinkles can be beautiful. Especially on a kind face. They’re like a badge of honour in a way. A reminder that you truly have lived!
So there you go. Like many mothers before me have discovered I have a daughter who is chalk to my cheese. Always has been. From birth. And let me tell you, it’s a challenge. Because if I reject her values too much she feels like I’m rejecting her. And surely more than anything else my job is to make her feel loved.
The only thing to do is accept her for who she is. You know, not agree with what she says but acknowledge her right to have those beliefs and desires. Because otherwise I would be a judgemental bitch of a mother and I don’t want to be that.
I think the Two of Pentacles is the Tarot card that best sums up this situation. There are times in a family when you have to juggle opposing belief systems in order to maintain harmony. And boy, it can be a bumpy ride (a la the boats in the background.) But it’s what you do. Because family is the most important thing. And with Christmas just around the corner you have to keep this in mind more than ever.
What would you say or do in this situation?