Back at the campsite again. Hasn’t stopped raining since I set up the tent. Some poles are bent and the fly is leaking after the other night’s little fiasco. Just lost my first version of this post in the ether. That’s the kind of year I’m having.
I must be worn out from all the dramas this week (either that or from staying up to the wee hours catching up on my Internet interests while back home) because I had a total freak out during the four hour drive here this morning. I became concerned that cars might have been parked on my empty site during my absence. Someone enquired if they could park there yesterday and I wasn’t sure if they knew I was coming back. I didn’t know where they were camped so I wouldn’t know where to find them to move their vehicle.
I became more and more distressed about this scenario as I drove. As if it was a certainty instead of a vague possibility. And even though I knew I was being ridiculous I couldn’t stop feeling deeply angry and sad. Knowing you are irrational doesn’t stop you from being irrational.
The Three Of Swords is the card that represents grief and betrayal. In the picture three swords pierce a heart. No blood drips from the wound suggesting it is an old one. Swords symbolise words, thoughts and attitudes. My thoughts were causing me grief. Touching that deep place inside which feels like nobody cares.
Sometimes the person stabbing you in the heart is yourself.
Naturally when I got to the campsite there were no cars parked there. In fact people rushed to move their vehicles from the site next door so I wouldn’t be inconvenienced when setting up my tent. Ah, the gods in the heavens must have had a good belly laugh at me this morning for being such an idiot.
Have you ever over-reacted for no good reason?